Oprah's Super Soul podcast recently featured leading child psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of The Conscious Parent. I loved hearing her thoughts on parenting and how we need to change the way we look at raising children….. 

My wild child 
He’s so full of curiosity and has the heart of a lion. He wears me out and fills me up at the same time, I can’t imagine life without him. But sometimes I wonder if I’m doing this parenting thing right, if I should be harder on him or try to tame his free spirit a little more.

Yesterday after dropping him off at preschool I listened to Oprah’s SuperSoul podcast on the way home. She was talking with Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of The Conscious Parent.

Dr. Shefali Tsabary is a clinical psychologist with a profound view on the way we parent.
I listened to her podcast and it completely connected with me and so many of the struggles I feel as a parent. So much of what my heart feels counteracts with what the traditional parenting role is supposed to be. I went home and started reading The Conscious Parent. I stayed up most of the night marking passages and I can honestly say this book has been one of the best reads I’ve found in a very long while. If you are a parent you NEED to read this book! I truly believe it has the power to change the way we raise our children and make them better human beings. In turn, making us better people by filling the emptiness and pain we carry because we feel so disconnected from our children.

A few thoughts from the podcast:

“When you parent it’s crucial you realize you aren’t raising a mini me, but a spirit throbbing with it’s own signature.”

“If you ask any parent what’s the goal for your child, they say “I just want my child to be happy.” But what does that mean? If we’ve affixed our sense of happiness to wealth and status and achievement, to where you go to college and how you look, the minute one of those pillars topples you’re not happy anymore. That’s what most people are afraid of.”

We want our kids to be happy as long as it fits within the sanctioned ideals that we’ve bought into and sold our soul to. Because it’s terrifying to us to not have these barometers of success. We are so afraid that without them we will be nothing.

“It’s no surprise that we actually fail to tune into our children’s essence. How can we listen to them when so many of us barely listen to ourselves.”

We have driven our children into a state of madness, a state of disconnect. We’ve beaten them down with this ideal of perfection that only the A grade makes them valid as students, valid as learners and valid as human beings. Without the A grade they are invalid. And then we wonder why our children don’t get up and bounce off to school. Because we’ve made them hate the process of learning.”

We’ve been conditioned to be so attached to egoic agendas. When our child cries we’re thinking “why are you crying, you shouldn’t be crying, let’s stop crying, let’s fix it.” The worry tape constantly plays in our mind and keeps us from entering the moment.

 

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